Goldie Lookin’ Chain – 24/10/04 – Astoria, London

On first listen, the GLC comes across as a one hit novelty act – a bunch of Welsh chavs playing at being the 2 Live Crew meets Ali G. The more you hear and the deeper you dig into their past though, the more you realise that they are actually far more than a comedy show. The music is good, stealing riffz and loopz from a wide variety of sources (like Steeleye Span, ffs?!), but the lyrics, sorry, rhymes, are proper bo, I fucken tells you. Hilarious, especially to one whose sense of humour is rooted firmly in Viz.

Goldie Lookin' Chain ticket Oct 2004

I wondered if they could carry it off live though? There was a decent support act – a slightly more earnest young rapper whose name escapes me – but he was enjoyable enough though. Then, to some serious bigging up from the MC, enter from all sides of the stage at least 12 GLC personnel. All the way from Newport City, if you please. Visually they were impressive – like a rowdy Gap advert. 3 rows of synchronized dancing, spread across various sized podiums (podia?) and it was all change as each new vocalist came down to centre front stage to relieve the previous one and do their bit. The stage show was very well choreographed, and remarkably professional for a bunch of stoners. The lyrics suffered a little from poor sound, so it was difficult to follow the tracks that were new to me, but they literally had the place jumping. The entire crowd jumping, in unison, to the beat of ‘Your Mother’s Got A Penis’ had the floor shaking as though we would end up in the basement – I don’t think I’d ever experienced anything quite like it. I’d definitely never shouted ‘Your Mother’s Got A Penis’ at the top of my voice before either.

Magic.You fucking knows it.

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